Stay the course

Sunday, February 1, 2026. My quarterly chest, abdomen and pelvis CT scans were a couple weeks ago as well as a follow-up visit with my UCSF oncologist Laura Huppert. As was hoped, the lesion in my right lung radiated the first week of December had shrunk by half from 10 mm to 5 mm. There were no new sites of metastatic disease within the chest. The abdomen/pelvis CT scan was unremarkable. Of course, Huppert was happy with the results. We all were. Her advice was clear. “Stay the course.”

I know some of you might be thinking these results are amazing, especially when you consider the wide range of treatments I’ve endured over the last 7+ years. These latest results were good, but not amazing in my mind. If Huppert had suggested “staying the course” for the next six months, and then added something like, “if my condition remains unchanged with no new disease, perhaps we could discuss discontinuing treatment or transition to some sort of maintenance therapy every 2 or 3 months…” Well, you see what I’m saying. I would have felt encouraged and perhaps a tad optimistic. But would that really have been realistic?

What “staying the course” means in this case is to continue on “until this current therapy stops keeping the disease in check.” Then, together, we look at the next best option for treating the disease. That is the reality for someone like me who is diagnosed with Stage IV MTNBC (metastatic triple negative breast cancer). This is the future I’ve come to accept, knowing this is my path until one day I either run out of options or I choose quality of life over the side effects of whatever treatment is available to me. Thanks to advances in treatments for MTNBC (unlike just a few short years ago when my only choices were traditional chemo and/or radiation) I now have lots of options. So I’m not there yet. Not even close.

Hey, I have hair on my head, and most of the worst side effects from the Dato-DxD are easily manageable now. Advocating for a reduced dose was the best gift I gave myself in 2025. It truly reinforces how important it is to be proactive about your own health. Suffering to survive does not have to be the only option. You don’t have to sacrifice quality of life to live. The power is in your hands. For me, that is the difference between actively living and simply staying alive.

Like I said, I do still have options. And over the years, dear friends and acquaintances have suggested treatments that they believe could save my life. I took them all seriously, but ultimately chose the path that I believed was best for me without fear of retribution or physical harm from anyone.

In spite of the fact that I am dealing with an illness that will shorten my life, and especially in light of the heartbreaking events taking place in this country directed at those who bravely “stay the course,” I’m feeling especially fortunate. However, I now recognize that the terror being experienced by people of all ages in Minnesota could happen any day in my own town and yours.

“Stay the course” is a phrase used in the context of a war or battle meaning to pursue a goal regardless of any obstacles or criticism. —Wikipedia