April 4, 2025. It was the spring of 1980. My husband Steve and I had only been dating a short while when his brother Jack came for a visit. He’d driven to Spokane from Denver in his beautiful new 280-Z. I was on a bowling team then. The night I met Jack, he and Steve walked into the bowling alley to watch. They were instantly recognizable as brothers. The resemblance was unmistakeable—two peas in a pod. Jack was so easy to be around, I knew we would be pals right away. After bowling, the three of us joked around and played some video games. Then we all squeezed into Jack’s “Z,” and they gave me a ride home where I took their photo. Much later Steve told me that Jack told him, “I was the one.”
We said our final goodbyes to Jack a little over a week ago. He was 78 years old. In life, Jack was a beloved brother, father, grandfather, uncle and friend. He was a successful businessman, an athlete, a photographer and a person who never met a stranger. People were drawn to him like a magnet, and he delighted in this gift. His death was the consequence of his time spent as an Army Medic in Vietnam where he was directly exposed to Agent Orange. His health issues included heart disease, diabetes, Parkinson’s, and worst of all Lewy Body dementia. Ultimately Jack was accepting of his fate and met the end of his life with peace, grace and beauty. He was a wonderful brother-in-law—like a brother from another mother. Rest in peace, my brother. See you on the other side.
The day before Jack passed, was my last in-person appointment with Dr. Rugo. We talked about the CT scans from the week prior and potential treatment options since there has been some growth in a few nodes and nodules. She wanted to do a bit more research before settling on her best recommendation. Whatever that might be, I will likely start in the next two to three weeks. It was then that I asked who she might be referring me to with her departure. We both became quite emotional when I said those words out loud. She said she did have someone in mind, but the ultimate referral would be made by UCSF. I confessed through tears that I/we did not want her to leave. Rugo said she felt good about her decision, but it was hard. Leaving her patients was by far the most difficult part. It was a heartfelt, yet bittersweet moment marking the end of the closest relationship I’ve ever had with a doctor and one I will always be grateful for.
Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.” —Dr. Seuss
lana has cancer 
I’m behind in email reading, so just saw your message. My heart goes out to you & Steve for your loss. It sounds like Jack was a special brother to you both. That always leaves a hole in your heart. But it also sounds like you have alot of wonderful memories to fill it up! Thinking of you both and sending you love, healing prayers and lots of hugs❣🤗🥰
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Thank you, Cheryl. 😘
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So much of our lives are changing on a daily basis. I suppose that is to be expected now that we have reached the so-called Golden Years. I’m sorry, but I really miss the days when someone would ask ‘what’s goin’ on?’ and we would respond with ‘nothin.’ Today as we participated in the Hands Off Rally and found ourselves surrounded by such exuberant and loving humans, I recognized even more the generation we have all ‘become.’ Yes, we are facing challenges we never imagined -from health issues to a world crisis we never saw coming. I would change nothing with respect to the generation I take this crazy ride with. Compassion and love surround us. It always has. Allow me to fill yours and Steve’s cups with the same love you have always shared with us. May we gather again soon to celebrate all we have, in each other. Love you very very much. ❤️
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Beautifully expressed, dear one. Love to you and Jeff.
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Lana, I’m so sorry for your loss of Jack. It sounds like he was a true source of joy. You’re clearly dealing with a lot right now. I’m sending you healing thoughts, comforting prayers, and lots of love.
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Thanks, Ginger, from both of us.
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I am so sorry to hear that Jack passed. My thoughts and prayers are with you and Steve. It was an honor to have met him and enjoy his company in Wyoming. Hugs to you both
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Hugs, back, honey bunny.
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I’m so sorry to hear about Jack’s passing and thank you for sharing your sentiments about this dear man.
I can imagine the very sad feelings you had at your last meeting with Dr Rugo. I pray that your new doctor will be someone you can resonate with. I also am hopeful that your next treatment will agree with you and enable you to continue on your good path. We all know that you’ve been a true warrior. Love you so much. Looking forward to seeing you again in the fall. 💜
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Love you, too.
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