Shape-shifter

January 31, 2024. One week ago today I had a Chest CT scan with contrast. The main purpose was to determine if there were any changes to the two largest right lung nodules as a result of the five days of focal radiation treatments I endured in early December. I’ve been off the clinical trail for 12 weeks, and it’s been over 7 weeks since I completed radiation. So I have to admit I was a especially anxious about this CT scan, knowing that successfully battling MTNBC (metastatic triple-negative breast cancer) has been like evading a shape-shifter. After several setbacks over the past 5 years, I’ve grown to consciously make an effort not to get my hopes up about what the future has in store. But at the same time I’ve continued to take advantage of every weapon available in an attempt to slow down or stop the cancer from spreading or growing, the most recent advocating for and receiving focal radiation. Which brings us back to the CT scan results.

The radiology report stated, “Interval decrease in size of several lung nodules such as in the right lower lobe, now small 0.8 cm, previously 1.4 cm; right middle lobe measuring 0.7 cm, previously 1.1 cm; a few additional nodules are not significantly changed, such as 5 mm in the left lower lobe.”

IMPRESSION: Interval decrease in size of right middle and lower lobe nodules. No evidence of new or worsening metastatic disease.

Today I had a video appointment with Dr. Rugo to talk about the results and what to do next. Previously the implication was that she would recommend additional chemotherapy, perhaps monthly, to hopefully keep the cancer under control. After reading the report, I was prepared to make a case for not considering additional treatment until after the next CT scans which I assumed might be in 4 to 6 weeks. Instead, she didn’t even broach the subject of chemo. Rather she suggested chest and abdomen scans in 8 weeks, and then a follow-up appointment with her soon after! Eight more weeks off treatment! When the video call ended, I surprisingly found myself in tears. I think it’s because it wasn’t what I was expecting to hear…at all.

So that’s it. My break from the action continues. Of course, if I start having any unusual symptoms, I’m to contact my UCSF health care team right away. That being said, I’ll try to stay as present in each moment as I can and not get ahead of myself. I really want to savor this much needed and appreciated break in the topsy turvy world of my MTNBC war. It is also a time to be truly grateful for how hard my body, my immune system is working to stay one step ahead of this disease. I don’t expect the quiet to go on indefinitely. I know the odds are not in my favor, making it that much sweeter to be out of the shape-shifter’s grasp for now.