All I want for Christmas…

December 26, 2022. When I was in the 2nd grade I lost both my front teeth. For two Christmas’ after I sang that song, “All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth.” True story.

Here I am, more than 60 years later. All I wanted for Christmas this year was for the Bicalutamide I’ve been taking orally for the past 11 weeks to work. For the cancer to have stopped growing or even gotten smaller. For my tumor marker numbers to start going down.

Last Wednesday I learned that the tumor near my collarbone has grown as did the nodules in my right lung and there are a few more of them. My tumor marker is at an all time high of 24.7. It was 19 last month. Suffice to say that the prognosis isn’t all that good right now, even though I feel good. I don’t look sick. I don’t have any obvious symptoms. There were virtually no side effects from the Bicalutamide other than a bit of fatigue. In fact, I think my hair has been growing at an accelerated rate taking it. That was a first.

And yet, here I am still fighting for my life. My options are to start getting IV infusions of sacituzumab (weekly treatments in Ukiah of two weeks on, one week off) or participate in a TNBC clinical trial using Magrolimab in combination with sacituzumab (weekly treatments in San Francisco of three weeks on, one week off). Either way, I’ll need to get a port (ugh), the side effects will likely be brutal and once again I’ll be hairless. Both options are long term unless they don’t provide a more positive outcome in the short term. Then…

I still have to go through a yet-to-be scheduled, day-long screening exam to join the clinical trial. If I’m accepted, I’ll give it a go in spite of the long drive and the long days. It’s about 3 hours one way, compared to Ukiah which is 40 minutes. The first two treatments will take 6 to 8 hours.

I genuinely had high hopes 2023 would be a better year all the way around. I can still hope. This might be the treatment that finally works for me.

I wish you all the best for 2023…may you be happy, may you be healthy, may you be safe, may you be at peace.

14 Replies to “All I want for Christmas…”

  1. We, too, have had these wishes for you. So glad you don’t feel sick and that the side effects were fairly mild. That being said, we know this is a big decision and one that will require extensive traveling and commitment. It’s hard because you don’t know how you’ll respond to the treatment. We pray that this will be all that you want it to be and that you’ll be accepted into the trial.

    You continue to have hope and that’s a significant part of your recovery. We appreciate your honesty and expressions as you continue to go through these very challenging and difficult times. Sending lots of love, light, and healing energy. ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Lana you bring reality and truth to us all. You tell your truth your story that no one can deny the challenges and the gifts life brings with it. Thank you for your well wishing to us all and we well wish the best 2023 for you. Love your light love your soul love who you are.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Dear Lana and Steve – we were also hoping and praying 2023 would be a better start for your journey – wishing you a blessed holiday season from snowy (and icy!) Idaho –

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Lan – yes, al I want for Christmas is your deision on your treatment works! Your strength and the love of family and friends carry you thrugh this diffiult time I love You!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. May 2023 bring the results we want to see, and may we be celebrating a much better year come December 2023.
    🙏 I love you, girlfriend.
    ♥️ Carole

    Liked by 1 person

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